


Grayscale

by orphan_account



Series: Trans!Dan [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Asshole parents, Bisexuality, F/M, Gay, Gender Dysphoria, Homophobia, I'm a sucker for any trans character ugh, M/M, Tbh my entire life, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, asshole people, asshole school, ftm character, honestly it's really gay, its not that interesting like it's not a fic you constantly wait on updates for, short story kind of???, theres a happy ending i PROMISE, trans!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danielle is 15 when she looks at the mirror and says out loud, "I am a boy. I am gay. My name is... Dan," she picks, moving her hands outwards in front of her chest. </p>
<p>For a moment, she feels comfortable and happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Left: Darkest black; bleakness. Loneliness.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm not out of the Fall Out Boy fandom I just really wanted there to be more trans!dan.  
> honestly I wish I could write something that makes people like cry and feel feels but lol I'm a loser  
> there's gonna be like 2 chapters unless I change my mind, but im currently working on chapter 2 atm and tbh why are you reading my trash fics

When Danielle was 3, her parents were constantly stressed from the problems the kid was causing.

She cried on Sunday mornings when her mother put a dress and little diamond bedazzled shoes, and she cried when she got dolls as gifts from other people. 

Put aside all the crying, she was depressed. That was the only explanation- Danielle was depressed at three years old and nobody could figure out why. 

Of course, the Howells took her to a doctor when they caught her shoving items into her pants. Danielle said it was because it felt too empty in there.

Everybody was scared, except for Danielle. She just played with her nails and shirt the entire time.

"'m hate this shirt," she mumbled about her pretty little flowery, pink blouse as the doctor called them in. Truth be told, the doctor knew exactly what it was the moment he saw her.

"Gender Identity Disorder," the doctor announces sometime later. "Your daughter is having trouble coping with her biological sex. Her sex is female, but at the moment her gender is male. I would suggest letting her pick out her own clothes and toys, and see if her condition improves."

"Nonsense," Danielle's mother scoffs as they exit the building. "I've never heard of such a thing before. The doctor probably just came up with it on the spot so he could take our money."

They don't visit the doctor again. Instead, they start forcing feminine roles on Danielle in an attempt to rid the "phase" she's going through, as some of the parent's friends said.

The depression never went away, but Danielle did finally start to come a little bit out of her shell.

When she was six, she made her first best friend. Adrian Howell.

As they grew up together, they were both excited to have the same interests. Danielle was a tomboy, and Adrian just acted like a typical boy would. He fit the stereotype perfectly.

"I told you," Her mother says to her dad. "She was just upset she couldn't be a tomboy. That doctor was full of it."

"In a few years she'll grow out of it and be a girly girl. My co-worker said his girl did the same thing."

In the next room over, Danielle and Adrian are throwing Legos at each other. Danielle hears her parents, and feels anger boil in her stomach. 

However, she ignores it, because she knows her parents are just worried about her since she doesn't fit the typical girl image.

And she doesn't care. This is who she is.

Years later, she's on the Internet when her parents start talking about gay and lesbian people. 

"What's gay?" Adrian interrupts their deep conversation, a toothy smile crushing the tense atmosphere.

The parents give each other looks, then his mother starts. 

"It's when you like the same gender that you are. It's disgusting, and even god says it's wrong."

"Same thing with those vial transsexuals," Her father hisses. "They say that they were born in the wrong body- that's why girls try to become guys and why guys try to become girls."

"But God doesn't make mistakes, and no matter how much these people say they were born in the wrong body, they're wrong."

Adrian nods, soaking it all in. 

Danielle, on the other hand, clasps a hand on her mouth, fear bubbling in her stomach.

_His_ stomach.

Going onto private search mode, she types in _transsexual_.

By the end of the night, she's pretty sure she's actually a guy, not a girl, and everything starts to fall into place. She exes out of the browser, and runs to the bathroom to throw up.

_God hates me_ is all she can think of as she's bent over the toilet.

It takes a year and a half, but she finally decided she's not going to live on like this. 

Danielle is 15 when she cuts her hair into a pixie cut.

(She doesn't dare come out, especially when she attends a private Christian school.)

Danielle is 15 when she discovers she's gay- because she likes guys.

Danielle is 15 when she looks at the mirror and says out loud, "I am a boy. I am gay. My name is... Dan," she picks, moving her hands outwards in front of her chest. 

For a moment, she feels comfortable and happy. 

Then it's gone, now that she knows who she actually is and that she can't express herself.

"Danielle?" There's a small voice across the room. Dan yips, jumping. 

It's Adrian, who's smiling. Dan breaks out into a sweat; did he hear?

"I honestly saw this coming. I was coming her to let you know that I wasn't homophobic, and that I'm an atheist. But it looks like you've got a bigger problem, Daniel."

Dan hugs his brother, and they grip each other hard. Adrian says a simple "I don't judge, just look out for mom and dad" as he exits the room.

Then Dan is alone, smiling like an idiot because Adrian is the best goddamn brother anybody could ask for.

The next day, Dan finds himself being forced into the school house at 5 fucking pm. He's pushed into the commons, where a few other kids are sitting, looking bored.

"What?" Dan says out loud, beginning to panic. "Mom?" 

She grips Dan's shoulder. "You will get rid of your sinful ways, Danielle." She pushes him forward, his shoulder is throbbing from how hard she had held it, and then his mom is gone.

"Danielle, your mother dropped you off here in secrecy with all these other kids because she's worried that you're going to hell."

Dan chokes, nearly in tears, because _what the fuck how did she find out everything's ruined he's such a fuckface, he couldn't even stay in the closet for that long without being caught-_

"Gay and Transgender Conversion Therapy," a blond haired boy with a quiff sighs. 

Dan slowly crawls into a chair, looking around nervously.

"Danielle, first step to this is admitting your problem. Why are you here?"

The teacher is familiar, Dan notices. Mrs. Chipel, he remembers.

Dan swallows. "I-I don't know, I don't know why I'm here-"

"Are you a lesbian, transgender, or bisexual?" Mrs. Chipel smiles gently. "Admitting your problem is the first step to helping yourself get better." She repeats.

Dan doesn't answer. He feels anger boil, so he just clenches his fists for a second and looks away, tears spilling.

"How about we all introduce ourselves? I am Mrs. Virginia Chipel, who was once a lesbian but was cured by conversion therapy like what you're having now. Remember, it is not godly-like to talk about people after a session or spread rumors. Also remember that your disease is not something to be afraid or ashamed of, because we will cure it for you and guarantee entrance to heaven." She nods at the boy with the quiff slouching beside her. 

The boy sighs. "Connor Franta."

The names continue through the circle, and Dan catches Tyler Oakley, PJ Liguori, Chris Kendall, Phil Lester, Ingrid Nilsen, Troye Sivan...

God, this was stupid. It was like something out of a terrible fanfiction _A/N: eh eh eh EH_.

He catches eyes with Phil, the black haired with a cute little fringe type thing, and feels like the weight of the world has literally been lifted off his shoulders. 

Frankly, Dan didn't listen to anything the teacher had to say. His eyes were stuck on the cute guy with skinny jeans, converses, and a plaid shirt on. 

He reminded Dan of lions, and for some reason a spork. But a cute spork.

If that makes sense. Dan can't think straight with Phil sitting across from him.

When his mom picks Dan up that night, she just sighs and says "I heard you talking to Adrian and to yourself. You thought you were home alone. But... Danielle, don't worry. We're here for you and we'll get through this together."

When she tries to hug Dan, Dan pushes her away and climbs into the car without a word. He just wants to be with Phil, who was stuck inside the school because the teacher kept him behind.

The next day at school was kind of awkward, because Dan was used to sitting alone in his corner of the commons, waiting for the first bell to ring, when there's a tap on his shoulder that shakes him out of his book.

At first, he's scared that a teacher caught him reading Harry Potter but then he sees the boy he dreamt of last night and nearly passes out.

Dan sets the book down gently (shakily) and mutters a hi.

"Hey, how're you?"

Dan shrugs, not meeting Phil's eyes. "Okay."

"I saw you last night at the session and got kind of worried because usually when people come in they don't... Freak out. Well, maybe except for Shane."

Dan blinks, and he curses himself because tears are about to spill. He blinks them away and answers.

"I was just shocked."

"My mum didn't tell me where we were going either," Phil reads Dan's mind. "I don't think anybody's parents did."

Phil sits beside Dan, eyeing the crowd.

"Chipel kept me behind because- if you didn't know I'm bisexual- she saw us staring at each other and thinks something's up. She said 'Phil, if I see you doing anything with her then I'll have to call your parents.'"

"Christ, this school makes me mad."

"Same. It's hard not to roll your eyes every time they mention God."

"Being an atheist isn't easy," Dan mumbles, scared to say it out loud. 

Phil nods. Dan smiles.

That's where it started- an unbreakable friendship bloomed from there, each being each other's first new best friends in a long time. 

A few months later, Phil yanks open Dan's car door (who was finishing that Harry Potter book while waiting on Phil) and shouts at him to _drive, hurry hurry hurry drive Dan drive!_

Dan throws his book to the back seat in surprise, smashes his foot on the gas pedal, and they almost crash into an oncoming car. The car honks but Phil keeps yelling at Dan to drive and keeps looking behind him to see if there's something there.

When they hit the interstate, Dan picks up the same speed as the rest of the traffic and nearly screams at Phil. "What the _fuck_ was that?!"

Phil pants, still out of breath. "Some gang- god- I don't even know- hell-"

"Calm down," Dan tells both himself and Phil. "Breathe and tell me what happened."

"Fuck- okay, okay. You know my last class is PE, yeah? I was taking the back way out because I don't like dealing with all the traffic and didn't want to keep you waiting, since that fuckface teacher keeps keeping us after the bell. Anyways," Phil catches his breath as Dan takes a turn. "One moment I'm walking beside the building, alone and listening to music then I'm being pressed against the wall, there's a knife to my neck but the knife is backwards and isn't even being pressed very hard. I look up, okay, and see this guy- god, he looked high or drunk- then he started talking slurs and I knew he was drunk by how his breath smelled."

Dan grimaced. Phil continues. "So I think he said something about sex or money. I pushed him off of me, and then he's back on his feet and I don't fucking know how but he starts to _charge_ at me; Jesus, I sprint out of there, I think the guy slammed into the wall and passed out. But I kept running, and didn't look back to check and then I see you in the car and I jump in."

Dan takes a moment to take it all in, control himself before saying "What the fuck?!"

"I know, I know! The school is monitored and has fences around it like a goddamn prison! I was wondering how this guy got in there, but- god, I don't know," Then Phil puts his feet up on the seat, and hugs himself. 

By this time, Dan has pulled over at a gas station and leans over to hug the shaking Phil. 

"We'll get this figured out. I promise. Just don't take that back way again. God, if he hurt you..."

"He didn't," Phil sighed.

"Wanna have a sleepover?" Dan suggests.

Phil blinks, smiles and sniffs before nodding and running inside the gas station with Dan. They come back outside with pizza slices, and Dan thinks Phil will be okay when he starts laughing at how Dan managed to drop his pizza on his pants when they were pulling out of the gas station.

 

For some reason, a boy and a girl having sleepovers is looked down upon in most families.

Dan's parents apparently didn't care, as long as they slept in the living room and on separate couches. They didn't argue, it was fair after all.

Poor Adrian wasn't invited, instead he was stuck with running errands with their mother.

"You two better not do anything," Dan's mom said as she and Adrian exited. "Because a mom will always know."

Dan rolled his eyes.

For some reason his parents thought leaving them behind was a good idea, but honestly they weren't going to do anything bad, so-

And suddenly Phil was staring at Dan, and Dan was staring at Phil as his previous thought just went down the drain.

"Dan?" Phil whispers, face uncertain. "I..."

"Don't care," Dan scoots next to Phil. "Just do it."

Then Phil is kissing him, and Dan is kissing back and he's pretty sure nothing else in the world could compare to this.

They're deep in the kiss when Dan remembers- _Phil still sees him as Danielle._

The Dan is struggling, he feels like he's choking and he gasps, trying to push Phil off because damnit, he fucking forgot and now everything was ruined.

"Dan? Did I-" Phil looks scared, as if he had crossed a border he wasn't supposed to. But no, Phil didn't, Dan did by allowing Phil to kiss a stranger.

Phil was kissing Danielle. _Not Dan._

"Phil, God, I..."

"Dan? Danielle?"

"Don't- _don't call me that!_ "

Phil blinks, backing away on the couch.

Dan stares at him, tears welling up.

"Phil... I didn't..."

Dan fucked up. He fucking fucked up- Phil should've at least known before they shared their first kiss together and as individuals. 

Dan kind of hates everything right now, and it's in the heat of the moment when he makes the rash decision to kick Phil out.

"I'm sorry," he chokes, hand over his mouth. "I love you, I do, but-"

Then he shuts the door, and he collapses, against it, and then feels something else collapse against the door on the outside.

Phil thinks Phil fucked up.   
No, Phil was fucking wrong. Dan was the one to fuck up and now...

The world seemed grayscale.


	2. Gray: When Light Intercepts With The Dark. A Combination of Good and Bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm gonna make a chapter three because I feel like it'll make the story itself better AH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK THERES A FLY TRAPPED IN MY ROOM AND IT JUST ATTACKED MY EYE HOLD THE FUCK UP BRB
> 
> okay I'm back and the fly is dead MOVING ON 
> 
> did you know it's grEy in England and grAy in America  
> I didn't know that ANYWAYS I don't know how the UK school systems work because I'm obviously from America. So forgive me. 
> 
> Most of this chapter is based on experience, I didn't really look any of it up because when I wrote this our wifi upgrade was getting set up and I couldn't connect to it. My mum got an appendectomy last year (?) and I got a pectus excavatum surgery done a few years ago, so yeah. I kind of know what I'm doing. Kind of.  
> So I'm pretty much just rambling now, you can go ahead and get on with the story.

_"Dan?"_

Dan looks up, sniffing, and clutches the pillow he's holding closer to himself.

"We came home and you and Phil weren't there, mom thought you were fucking somewhere. She sent me in here for me to get traumatized, I don't know, but anyways now I can see that something else happened... _What was it?"_

Dan's head collapses back on the bed. "Phil and I kissed but I freaked out because, you know, he was kissing Danielle, not Daniel, and I kicked him out after pronouncing my all denying love for him."

Adrian smirked, rubbing circles into Dan's back. "Well," his voice cracks from puberty (Dan feels a bit of rush at the thought that Adrian is growing up and he didn't even realize) "If Phil's the one, he's not gonna care. Do you think he would?"

"Dunno," Dan mumbles.

"Then why'd you kiss him?!"

"Because I'm a bloody idiot!" Dan raises his head again. "And I ruined everything between me and my second best friend."

"Dan, Phil is a bisexual. You're gay. _I doubt he cares that you are what you are._ "

"But I told him I was gay- I never said I was gay for guys, he thinks I'm a lesbian. I wonder why he even kissed me."

"Because you can't really help what your heart wants, sometimes you just gotta break the rules and go for it."

Dan ponders about this, then nods. "Alright. But what do I do about Phil? He thinks he was the one that screwed up, not me."

Adrian shrugs. "I'm 9, not really that big of a help when it comes to that kinds of stuff."

"Thanks, anyways. You always make me feel better."

"No problem. Hey, Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"You said Phil was your second best friend. Who's your first?"

"You, duh. Nobody could ever replace my first best friend, even if he is my brother. Now get out of here, I'm gonna clean up and explain to mom that I'm still a virgin."

Adrian walked out in laughter. It was times like this Dan wondered how a 9 year old was sometimes wiser than he was.

_Also dirty minded,_ Dan thinks with a eyebrow raise.

 

Dan wakes up with a raging stomachache the next day, and he knows that confessing his love to Phil today isn't even an option anymore.

He tries to climb out of bed but the pain feels likes he's being stabbed; he gasps and falls back onto the bed, and takes a breath before trying again. 

This time he falls to the ground, the pain only getting worse and he starts calling for his mom, dad, Adrian, and when nobody comes he manages to to get to his feet, staggers to the door handle, opens it and collapses in the hallway.

"Mom," He groans, gripping his stomach. _"Mom!"_

Finally, _finally_ , somebody steps in the hallway to see what Dan's screaming about, and he figures it was his dad because of the voice shouting at Dan.

His mother and Adrian follow, Adrian standing at the doorway awkwardly while they help Dan to his feet. 

Once he's on his feet, he starts to gag and his mom must've come prepared because there's a bag being shoved to his face as he pukes in it, body wracking with pain.

"Nine nine nine," His father says to Adrian, who nods and disappears somewhere. The parents heave Dan to the living room where he gets sick again, his mother trying to stay calm as she asks him questions. 

"Where are you hurting?!"

"Stomach," Dan holds his abdomen. His mom swats his hand away, pressing two fingers into his side, his father laying him down so he's stretched out. Adrian is speaking into the phone, narrating the scene to the operator.

His mom's fingers leave Dan's side and Dan nearly screams at the pain- which got more painful somehow.

"This happened to my sister back when we were kids," Dan's mom whispers to the father. "It's appendicitis. We got to get him to a hospital _now._ "

Dan is screaming from pain when the ambulance people move him into the stretcher and drive to the hospital in a hurry. He's put on gas midway, and passes out only a few seconds in.

 

Dan woke up in a single bedded room, his abdomen was numb and at first he thought he got his limbs amputated.

Technically, he did get his appendix amputated but that was different. 

Still high on the gas, Dan just stares at the wall for the next few minutes of waking, then daydreams about Phil for another few minutes, and just stops breathing because he feels like it.

This alerts the nurses, and they rush in, and force him on oxygen. 

Dan can only think about how hard it is for him to breathe now with air being blown up his nose constantly, and how he didn't get to tell Phil how sorry he was. Then he passes out again.

He wakes up crying, not sobbing but silent tears are streaming down his face because damn it, the numbness is gone and everything hurts.

It's 5 pm when Dan is walking himself to the bathroom, ten hours after the surgery. The doctors constantly say walking 12 hours after surgery is normal, and since Dan has a good pain tolerance for some reason he's able to walk a bit earlier.

His parents say otherwise, and stay convinced this is a miracle from God. (Dan and Adrian roll their eyes at this multiple times.)

Dan's able to return to school in two weeks- he leaves the hospital the next day. 

Two weeks seems like a fun break for a child, but not when you're recovering from surgery and getting an organ removed from your abdomen.

Dan wanted to say something interesting happened in the two weeks he was absent, but when he returned to school, he could only say that he didn't die and survived a major surgery. Also, he lost an organ. Which was a pretty cool thing to him.

 

Going to a private Christian school looked good on a job and college application; to the student, it sucked ass. Usually.

Dan hated this school, at first he was okay with it because no fights, no hate, everybody was a Christian, and everybody had the same opinion. 

As he grew up, he realized how big of a lie that was. Though there were no fights, gossip and rumors spread like wildfire throughout Catchstone Christian High; all the lack of hate in elementary was stored in High School, and everybody having the same religion and opinion was a pain. 

The majority of the school was religious, because it's all they've ever known. Dan and a few others, however, took the daring step into becoming atheists stuck in a Christian school.

Everyday was literally a living hell, Dan didn't complain about getting an education ( _because goddamn it, if you're going to be a spoiled ass kid who is too lazy to be happy you are lucky enough to get an education and go to school, go live in the Middle East_ ) but he didn't really enjoy the students that attended it.

Phil was one of those students that he just couldn't bring himself to hate. How could he? He's over here apologizing to Dan's face right now, in tears about how much he was sorry, wanted to know what he did wrong, and why Dan kicked him out after saying he loved him.

Fucking hell. 

"I... God, I nearly broke when they said you were in the hospital... And then you just stopped coming... I was scared, and-"

Dan hugs Phil, and Phil grips onto him tight.

They're in the middle of the hallway, there are some people cooing and others whistling, but the teachers hush them along and then push Dan and Phil along with them.

_Dan and Phil_ , Dan thinks. 

That sounded nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter, my parents set down some new laws when it comes to electronic usage. (Can't bring it to school, have to turn it in at exactly 9 pm every night, etc) and it fucking sucks ass you guys I can't fall asleep at 9 pm please kill me ugh


	3. Right: White, Pure and Happiness. An End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!  
> If you want more then I might make a sequel, but even then it won't be anything too much.  
> idk this ending seems cliche to me but it fit so

"What if," Phil says from a below branch, "We work from the Internet. What if we got paid for being on the Internet."

"Well, as far as I know that's something called pornography." Dan scoffs. "Or probably those people who fix computers."

There's the sound of the tree shaking, as if somebody's tearing something off of it and then a twig hits Dan in the face. "No, stupid, I mean like we make-"

"Wait," Dan interrupts, silencing the both of them. He holds his hand up, then his face as he tries to see through the thick tree.

He can see his house from here, even though they aren't too far up the tree. 

"What? What is it?"

"I think mum's calling me. She doesn't like when I come out here and climb all the trees; that's why I stopped it when I was littler."

"My mom would kill for me to be athletic like this more often," Phil mumbles. 

It's silent, as if they're contemplating what to do next when there's another shout for Dan and they both begin to slightly panic.

"Phil, my mums gonna murder me if we don't get down, hurry up!"

"I'm trying! It's just, climbing down is a lot more harder than climbing up!"

"Why'd we think this was a good idea?" Dan slowly follows Phil down the tree. Phil's shoulders are shaking as if he's giggling, but the wind gets faster and Dan can't hear him.

Finally, Phil jumps onto the ground and Dan is about to do the same when the branch he steps on snaps in half and he's free falling from like six feet above the ground.

Phil, with his awesome reflexes and muscles manages to catch him and gently set him on the ground.

"Thanks," Dan laughs. 

Phil shrugs, stretches his arms out and then they're walking back home, laughing about something stupid.

"Is your side okay?" Phil pokes at Dan's abdomen. 

"Still numb, but I don't think that's gonna go away. Don't- don't touch it- that feels weird."

"Sorry," Phil pulls his hands away. "But you know, we can't overwork it and I..."

"It's fine, trust me. Doctor gave me the thumbs up; The scar is set and nothing is gonna explode."

"Good," Phil mumbles.

Dan's mom calls them again, and they start to run out of the forest that was behind Dan's house.

 

Mrs. Chipel wanted her therapy students to admit their problems more than anything, Dan thinks.

In the Conversion Therapy sessions, she went around the circle and made kids say their problems out loud. If it didn't have to do with God and sins, then you didn't do it right. That's what Dan hated about this entire system.

"Bisexual, previously lesbian," Dan would always mumble. 

Though he was never a lesbian, it was the only thing that could fit "gay" without outing himself as transgender.

"Bisexual? We're making progress!" Mrs. Chipel clapped her hands. "Next step for you is to be fully straight again. Oh, this is such great news!"

Dan rolled his eyes. He wanted so badly to say he was lesbian again, just so he didn't have to hear Mrs. Chipel say that _ever_ again.

But technically he was dating Phil, and the entire school knew about it.

That was last week. Phil and him had gotten back together three weeks ago.

Tonight, Dan decided, was gonna be different. He wanted to see Mrs. Chipel's face when he carried out tonight's plan. He wanted to see all the other kids in the session cheer for him because damn it, this was great for everybody. 

Except for Phil. Dan was really scared about that.

Phil met Dan's eyes when he walked in and smiled at him. Dan smiled back, but more cautiously.

Phil was bisexual. Phil wouldn't care, right?

_"Phil, did you hear about Caitlyn Jenner and her transition?"_

_Phil nods. "'Course. I think that it's great, you know, we need more transgender support like that our there. For the ones that need it._

The memory replays over and over in Dan's mind; this happened when they were climbing the trees in Dan's backyard the previous day.

Phil wouldn't care if Danielle was actually Dan, right?

"Okay class, let's settle down," Chipel said to the already calm group. Her smile was wide and toothy, face was a bit fat and had lots of makeup, but yet it fit her. 

It was strange. Talking to Chipel was like talking to your extremist-religious grandmother.

Except Chipel never baked cookies or gave you money for your birthday, or never had little candies in her purse. She probably carried the heads of deceased puppies in her purse.

Through her nice, warming look was pure evil that Dan had seen more than once in all his algebra classes with her. 

_Why the hell was this woman leading a therapy session every other week?_

Tyler Oakley, who had dyed his hair a natural blonde this week was sitting beside Dan today. 

Dan liked Tyler. He laughed a lot, and brought happiness and rainbows everywhere he went. It was impossible to be sad around him. He knew Tyler had his own self esteem issues, so he chose not to bring that issue up around him.

All in all, Tyler was a pretty fucking cool and amazing person that was impossible to hate.

"Tyler?" Chipel nodded.

Tyler clicked his tongue. "Mmm, still gay."

Chipel sighed. "Oh Tyler, don't be upset. We'll get to your goal one day."

 _"I've accepted my sexuality. That was my goal, bitch."_ Dan hears Tyler mutter under his breath.

Dan stifles a grin. Chipel is looking at him now, and Dan sucks in a breath, and stands up.

"I'm no longer bisexual." He announces. The other people in the group straighten up, giving him an odd eye. Chipel looks so happy, as if she's about to cry and Dan feels like absolute shit when he opens his mouth again.

"I'm gay."

Chipel's face falls and she frowns, happiness gone. Dan feels bad again. 

"Danielle, are you a lesbian?"

"Nope. I like men."

It's quiet. There's no applause like Dan expected. Everybody is just staring at him, probably shocked and is sinking it in, trying to make sense of it.

Suddenly, Tyler fucking Oakley is clapping and patting Dan's back. Others start clapping too, Phil is just looking at him with wide eyes that say _I knew it, and I'm okay with this. I still love you._

Dan and Phil hug in the middle of the group, the clapping still going on and Dan's starting to cry. Chipel breaks the two up and shushes everybody.

"Everybody, pull out your bibles and turn to Leviticus 18:22 again. Do we need a reminder?"

People groan, and Dan and Phil return to their seats, not looking at anything else but each other for the rest of the class.

 

Chipel had somehow gotten to Dan's parents without Dan knowing, and now they were screaming and shouting and throwing things.

"This is how you repay us? After all we've done for you!"

"We saved your life!" Dan's mom screeches. "We took you to the hospital, got your appendix taken out and paid every single bit of that bill! We can't even-"

"Shut up!"

And yeah, they shut up because they sure didn't expect Dan to say that to their face.

The only thing is, Dan is shocked too because _he didn't say that._

Adrian is standing at the kitchen entrance, arms crossed and face angry. 

"Rye," Dan says Adrian's nickname with a sad note. 

"Stay out of our business, this does not concern you, Adrian." Dan's father says sternly.

"It's my business when it interrupts my sleep. I'm tired as hell and suddenly everybody's in here screaming slurs at Dan."

"Danielle," their mother hisses. "It's a girl."

" _He's_ a _boy_ ," Adrian points out. 

Dan is speechless, because Adrian had always been there for Dan, and vice versa, but this was different. Adrian was risking getting disowned along with Dan; he was risking everything.

And it meant the world to Dan.

The parents and Adrian start having a screaming match, the difference being Adrian not screaming, just remaining calm and collected and actually pointing out smart arguments, completely obliterating his parent's idea.

There's a pounding at the door, and Phil bursts in, and Dan is sprinting so fast he surprised himself.

"Oh my god," Dan chokes. "How-"

"I got scared. You weren't answering your phone and I remembered Chipel saying she reported everything from the sessions to our parents- God, I didn't know what to think. I snuck out and-"

"Get out," Dan's father roars. "This does not-"

"This does not concern you," Adrian mimics. He walks towards the couple, smiles, and Dan brings him into a hug. As Phil starts talking to the parents.

"Ephesians 4:26; and in your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

Dan can only smirk as he sees his parents get preached at. Dan's amazed at Phil's memory, nonetheless. 

Phil was literally a god, Dan decides.

"29; do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

"Deuteronomy 22:5; a woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God." Dan's father spits.

"Dad-" Dan starts, but Phil just smiles and says, "Galatians 3:28; There is no Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male or female, for you are all one in Jesus Christ."

Dan searches his parent's expressions, and only finds fear in them. They've lost the Bible-off (Add to the list of things Dan did not expect to say today). 

Dan follows Phil out of the house, Adrian following. His parents are still speechless, though he thinks he hears a cry of pain emit from his mother when they close the door.

"My house is cool," Phil finally breaks the silence. "The only reason my mum sends me off is because of my crazy uncle who lives with us. He's on vacation for the month though, some kind of business trip."

Dan nods, understanding. He buckles in as Phil starts the car, driving away from Dan's house.

The next morning, Dan wakes up in Phil's arms (in his pajamas that smell like chocolate chip) with his phone in hand. Adrian is on the other side of the room, snoring slightly.

Dan stretches his legs, turning over and pressing the on button on his phone. There's a new text, from his dad of course. He feels his heart skip a beat, and then he begins shaking Phil awake. 

"Phil, get up! Look!"

Phil finally gets the energy to put on his glasses after stretching out some. He grabs Dan, kisses his hard then throws the blanket off of them to wake up Adrian and tell him the news.

Dan decides that after all that hell those therapy sessions put him through, meeting Phil was worth it.

If you asked Phil, he'd say the same thing.

_We're sorry for how we acted last night, Dan. We're ready for you to come home now, both of our sons. We have a lot to talk about._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you think this chapter has weird events such as the Bible off and would never happen lol you're wrong af this shit has happened to me so many times

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I promise my chapter titles and shit make sense let me explain this one  
> the entire story is named Grayscale, right, so I'm basically explaining each chapter with a part of the grayscale. Chapter 1 is full of loneliness and Dan finding himself and Phil, also homophobia  
> so yeah  
> the darkest shade of black and bleakness  
> and loneliness  
> okay I'm done


End file.
